Where are we gonna find a kid at this hour?
by hoc-et-quod
Summary: Loki and Sigyn have a sexless yet happy marriage. But have to find a way to produce an heir.


**Title:** Where we gonna find a kid at this hour?

**Characters: **Loki, Sigyn, Thor

**Summary: ** Loki and Sigyn have a sexless yet happy marriage. But have to find a way to produce an heir.

**Prompt: **Odin marries Loki off to Sigyn, and Loki's fine with this. He likes Sigyn, she likes him, and even kinda gets him in a way most people don't. But it's on their wedding night they both learn they're perfect for each other in another, entirely different way: neither of them has any interest in sex!  
>So begins their own very happy little marriage. They love each other, and they hold hands, kiss, share a bed and occasionally even snuggle, but no sex.<p>

Except that people are beginning to notice that, for as long as Loki and Sigyn have been married, they've had no babies! What the hell? So now Loki and Sigyn are gonna have to find a way to whip up a kid, and fast! (Maybe if a royal married couple don't produce an heir in a certain amount of time, the marriage is considered a failure? Odin will marry Loki off to someone else. Noooo!)  
>Up to filler whether or not Loki's still got kids through Angrboda or whatever.<p>

* * *

><p>When Loki came of age, Thor dragged him away from his birthday feast (everybody was too drunk to notice) to a brothel to "become a real man."<p>

"How do you know I'm not already a 'real man'," Loki challenged.

Thor just laughed and sent him off with a woman before going to find one for himself. It annoyed Loki, but Thor was completely right. He had never been with a woman.

_Well, I suppose it's about time_, he mused, following her to a room.

Yet, as the woman undressed before him, he felt nothing. The woman was attractive, no doubt, but he regarded her as he would a painting or statue of a nude woman. Pleasing to look at but not meant for anything else.

She noticed, of course, and Loki figured telling her the truth would be insulting. So he told her that, while his well-meaning brother had dragged him here, he really wanted to wait to be with somebody special. She thought it to be terribly romantic and promised to keep his secret so he wouldn't be teased.

Later, she mussed their hair, pinched her cheeks to make herself looked flushed and draped herself over Loki as they walked out. Thor laughed heartily and congratulated Loki. For what, Loki couldn't imagine. Even if he had gone through it with, they had paid for it. Was that really something to be proud of?

Loki tried to put it all behind him, but he couldn't help thinking back. Hanging around with Thor, he had heard many a tale of men's exploits with women. Yet he had experienced none of those things. Not a stir of desire or lust or even repulsion. That wasn't normal, was it?

He began to pay more attention to the women of the court, trying to figure out what about them stirred desire in men. Whenever he heard on of Thor's friends make a lewd comment about a particular lady, he would focus on her. But, while he found the ladies pleasant to look at, he didn't feel any desire to invite one to his bed.

Loki began to wonder if perhaps he favored men. So, one night he covertly visited a brothel that catered to such tastes. Yet, when the man undressed, all he found himself thinking was that he had never noticed how ridiculous male genitalia looked. He apologized for wasting the man's time and promptly left.

At that point, Loki decided to just give up. He had wasted far too much time obsessing over this. He wasn't interested, that was that. It wasn't as if anybody suspected, after all. He was well known to be a private individual so everybody figured he was just being discreet about his trysts. The fact that some of the maids liked spreading rumors about being taken into a prince's bed only enforced that.

So, that was it. Nothing to worry about.

Yet, as he stood outside the door of his bridal chambers, he began to think that maybe he should have spent a least a bit more time on the matter.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Sigyn was a girl on the cusp of womanhood when her mother began taking her to court. "You will be a lady of the court," her mother told her. "You'd best start learning now."

Sigyn rather enjoyed spending time at the court. She liked quietly observing people and their behavior and how it differed depending on who they were interacting with. This way she was easily able to identify who was an important person before being formally introduced. There were other girls her age and she even befriended a few.

One day, while chatting with her friends, one pointed out young guard.

"Oh, doesn't he look delightful in that armor," she said.

He was quite handsome, Sigyn mused. The armor fit his figure quite well and his poise and posture made for a pleasing sight.

"It just make me want to take him out of that armor," her other friend replied and the two shared a laugh.

Sigyn laughed as well, but her friend's statement confused her. Why would she want to get the young man out of the armor that he looked so striking in?

That was the first inking Sigyn got that she was not like other girls.

It didn't bother her at first. After all, ladies weren't supposed to be interested in that sort of thing, right? That's what her mother and her aunts had always told her. But Sigyn soon learned that just because they weren't _supposed_ to be interested, didn't mean they weren't. While her friends acted all innocent and demure before the court, when they were by themselves, they would say the most risque things, sometimes getting outright bawdy.

During feasts, she and her friends would make their way up to a secluded balcony overlooking the great hall. Sigyn would listen in silence while they began pointing out and discussing all of the men they would gladly go to bed with if asked.

Sigyn would accompany them to the practice yard where they would watch the shirtless men practice. While Sigyn could appreciate the male form she didn't know what it was about it that elicited such ridiculous sounds from friends.

She tried, truly she did. But she just couldn't understand.

Yet, as she sat on the edge of the bed awaiting her new husband, she wondered if maybe she should have tried harder.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Of all the ladies of the court, Loki's parents could have definitely chosen worse for him than Sigyn. She was beautiful and intelligent and had a sweet personality. In fact, when her really thought about it, he couldn't think of another women he would have preferred. But thinking about that only made him feel worse. He didn't know what she was expecting for her wedding night, but it probably wasn't a husband who just couldn't dredge up the interested. He had researched and learned of other ways to please a woman. He just hoped that it would be enough for her.

Taking a deep breath, Loki opened the door and walked in. Sigyn was seated on the edge of the bed, still in her wedding attire. When he entered, she jumped and looked at him with an almost frightened expression for an instant before she forced a smile. At least she tried to.

"Good evening, Husband," she said, a tremor in her voice. With a shaking hand, she began to undo the laces of her bodice.

Loki was confused at first, but then he realized it all made sense. Sigyn was chaste and innocent and untainted and whatever other synonyms for pure he could think of. She had never been with a man and was probably terribly nervous and frightened about being with one she barely knew.

This could work to his advantage.

"Wait," he said.

Sigyn let out a surprised gasp and froze.

"We don't have to do anything if you don't want to."

She stared at him, as if she hadn't heard him properly. "Do I displease you, my lord?"

"Of course not!" Loki replied quickly. "But you're obviously uncomfortable and I want your first time to be special."

A genuine smile appeared on her lips. "Oh, thank you!" she said, relief heavy on her voice.

Later, as Loki laid beside his sleeping wife, he thought about his current situation. He had only managed to postpone the inevitable. Eventually Sigyn would expect them to consummate their marriage. He could attempt to treat her so that she'd never want to, but he didn't like the idea of treating her badly.

No, he would just use this time to come up with another solution. It had to be out there somewhere.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Sigyn was extremely grateful when Loki told her she could wait until she was more comfortable, but she would only be able to take it so far. Eventually, Loki would expect her to do her wifely duties. She supposed _she_ didn't have to enjoy it, but she was not looking forward to an immortal lifetime of lying back and thinking of Asgard.

No, there had to be a solution and she intended to find it. So, early the next day she headed straight for the library and pulled out any book that looked useful. The head librarian gave her an amused look, probably thinking she was looking for a way to impress her new husband in bed. Well, she wasn't too far off.

Loki was gone when she returned, which was fortunate for her. She threw herself into her research. By the time she heard Loki returning home, she had settled on a particularly potent aphrodisiac. It was too late to try now, but she decided to prepare it for the next day.

Sigyn hoped that she could convince Loki to wait again tonight. But Loki didn't even ask. He just gave her a peck on her cheek and went right to bed. Sigyn sighed in relief and soon followed.

The next day, after Loki left to do whatever it was he did during the day, Sigyn set about preparing the aphrodisiac. She was so intent on the preparation that she didn't hear the door to their chambers open.

"What is this?" Loki asked.

Sigyn jumped and spun around, her heart pounding in her chest. Loki didn't look upset, just curious.

"I-I-I...I was just..." her voice trailed off and she felt the blood drain from her face when Loki looked at the open book.

"Why are you making this," Loki asked, his face blank so she did know what he was thinking.

Sigyn couldn't help it; she lowered her head began try cry. "I was making it for myself because I have no interest in such things," she sobbed.

"With me?" Loki asked.

"With anybody!" Sigyn wailed. "Not just you. You were so kind and agreed to wait until I'm ready. But I'll never be ready." She took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her eyes. Enough crying. She was not a girl. She was a woman and a married one at that. She needed to start acting like one. "But if you desire," she continued, still not looking up. "I will come to your bed willingly tonight."

There was silence for a long while and Sigyn didn't dare look up as she was certain she had made Loki angry. She then heard something that sounded suspiciously like laughter. But that couldn't be right. Before she could verify, she found herself being swept off her feet and twirled around the room. She looked up into Loki's faced and was shocked to find that he was practically beaming.

"My dearest Sigyn," he said. "I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that."

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Getting that little matter out of the way, Loki then focused on getting to know his wife. Their marriage was arranged (as Loki never showed any interest in marriage) and, while Loki had seen Sigyn around the court they hadn't been formally introduced until their parents had already come to an agreement.

Loki found a kindred spirit in Sigyn. She shared his interests in magic and alchemy and just a general pursuit of knowledge. She would listen to him prattle on about whatever he happened to be studying at the the time, making intelligent comments so he knew that she was really listening and not just being polite. He, in turn, enjoyed listening to her talking about anything and everything. She had such a pleasant voice and interesting ideas.

He also enjoyed cuddling with Sigyn. He found that out quite by accident when Sigyn fell asleep leaning up against him. He had never been a touchy-feely person, even with his family. But he liked being close to Sigyn. They would snuggle in front of fire with a glass of wine after dinner, talking about their day. Then they would curl up in bed like a couple of puppies.

Loki wondered if perhaps he would eventually come to desire Sigyn. But even after many years of marriage he still felt no interest in bedding her and it appeared to be the same for Sigyn. Then he realized that he did desire Sigyn, just not sexually. But if that was good enough for Sigyn, that was good enough for him.

Unfortunately, it was not good enough for others.

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

"Children?"

Sigyn and Loki were having dinner with their parents. It was a regular occurrence every few years or so. Normally they just discussed normal things like weather, politics and the latest battle. Sigyn would usually pretend to not find it interesting (as a lady should) but would pay close attention. As it was, she was all ears when her father asked Loki about their plans for children.

"Yes, you've been married for how long now?"

"198 years," Loki replied.

"Yes, don't you think it's about time to think about having children?"

"Well, Father," Sigyn said. "We've not thought of such."

To Sigyn's surprise, her father turned to Lord Odin. "They only have a couple of more years."

"A couple of more years for what?" Loki asked, also turning to Odin.

The All-Father was silent for a long while. Finally he spoke. "Lord Falgeirr has no sons and part of the marriage arrangement was that your eldest son would be his heir and that you would provide him with one within two centuries. If not, the marriage would be terminated and Sigyn would find another husband."

Silence reigned again and Sigyn could feel the tension growing in the air. Loki was the one who broke the silence.

"You...did.. WHAT?"

An argument began between the three men while her mother and Lady Frigga attempted to calm them down.

"How could you do this, Father?" Loki spat out.

"I didn't think anything of it. I didn't realize it would be an issue for you," Odin replied.

"You had no right!"

"I had every right to demand an heir," her father said.

Loki turned on him. "You do have an heir! What's wrong with Sigyn? Or is she nothing more than a tool for you to use to get what you want?"

"How dare you!"

Sigyn's head was spinning. Her father had never spoken to her about an heir. It saddened and angered her that he did not consider her a viable option. But those feelings were currently dwarfed by the fear she suddenly felt at the idea of marrying another man.

A man who would not understand her. A man who would force her into his bed, regardless of what she wanted. A man she did not love. Even if she managed to marry another kind, understanding man, this cycle would only begin again when she didn't produce an heir. No, there had to be a way out of this.

Sigyn saw her father's face turn red with rage and she feared it would come to blows. So she did the only thing she could think of.

"I'M PREGNANT!"

That definitely caught their attention. Everybody in the room stared at her slack-jawed.

"I was planning to tell Loki during a romantic dinner but now you've ruined it, Father," she said scrunching up her face as if she was about to cry. He father suddenly looked very guilty.

Good.

With a fake sob she fled the room. She heard Loki call after her. He soon caught up to her as she strode down the hall.

"You're not..." he began.

"Of course not!"

Sigyn heard him let out a sigh. "Then we've got a lot of planning to do."

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

As neither of them knew the first thing about faking a pregnancy, Loki realize that they had to get out of the city and away from their families. So Loki told them about an obscure Frost Giant custom wherein the future parents to be would sequester themselves during the pregnancy until a month or so after the child was born in order for them to bond.

It was, of course, utter nonsense, but he was banking on nobody knowing enough about Jotun culture to call him on it.

So he whisked Sigyn off to one of the castles he had set up for when he wished to be alone. He hadn't used it in quite a while (since he had married Sigyn, in fact) so the first few days were spent cleaning up the place.

Then, they set about trying to figure out a way out of their current predicament. They looked at a number of options. They thought of adopting an orphaned child. The problem would be finding a convenient newborn. Illusions was suggested, but creating a solid illusion was extremely taxing and it would only take one slip-up to expose them. They researched and researched – often traveling incognito to the library in Asgard, as well as other realms, searching for options.

Yet, months passed and they were no closer to having a child than they were when they first arrived.

"It's useless!" Sigyn cried out, one evening, tossing a book across a room in frustration. "Nothing is going to work!" With a sigh that was almost a sob, she threw herself into a char and buried her face in her hands.

Loki looked at her a bit. There was another idea he had thought of, but he wasn't sure if Sigyn would be open to it. But they were fresh out of other options.

Slowly, he rose from the table, walked over to Sigyn and knelt before her. He gently pulled her hands away from her face so he could look her in the eyes. He took a deep breath and spoke.

"We could run away," he said.

Sigyn's brows furrowed. "Run away?"

"Not forever," Loki continued. "Just for a few centuries. We'll hide out in another realm – Alfheim, Svartálfaheim, maybe even Midgard. Just until they give up this idea of an heir."

"My father will never give it up," Sigyn replied.

"Then we'll just disappear again."

"He will come searching for me."

"I know how to hide, even from the eyes of Heimdall."

Sigyn was silent for a while and Loki thought that she would refuse. But then she slid off the chair to kneel before him and wrapped her arms tightly around him.

"Yes," she whispered, burying her head in his shoulder.

Loki returned her embrace and they remained that way for a long while.

The next morning, Loki rose before Sigyn and, leaving her to sleep, decided to take a walk in the forest to clear his head. He strolled through the forest he knew so well along a path that he, himself, had forged. He walked for about an hour before deciding to return. As he prepared to teleport, he heard the sound of something hitting the ground and a moan. It sounded like it came from just around the bend.

Instead of a teleportation spell, he cast an invisibility spell and moved slowly down the path. Of all the things he thought he'd find, a very pregnant woman kneeling on the path was one that hadn't even come to mind. She was pale with long, dark hair and Loki recognized her immediately as a Frost Giant. A runt, just like him.

He sensed nobody else around so he dropped the spell. The woman looked up at him and gasped in surprise. She tried to rise to her feet, to flee. Loki held out his hands.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said, softly

She stopped struggling and looked up at him for a long while. "Please," she said, finally. "Help me."

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Loki was gone when Sigyn awoke, but that was not uncommon. He was an early riser and usually had already started his day by the time she got out of bed. His cloak was gone and she figured he was out for an early-morning walk. So she decided to prepare breakfast.

Sigyn had just gathered some ingredients and was preparing to cook when she heard Loki call out her name from outside. She ran to the door and pulled it open just as Loki, carrying a strange, pregnant woman, reached it.

"What..?"

"I found her in the woods," Loki said quickly. "I think she's gone into labor."

As Loki took the woman to a room, Sigyn rushed to gather the necessary equipment. While she never attended a birth, her mother and aunts had instructed her on what to expect for herself and what to expect from her midwife. She only hoped she could make it work in practice.

As it turned out, it was a false labor. But the poor woman was so exhausted that she went straight to sleep before they could ask her why she was wandering in the forest to being with.

They checked on her throughout the day and even ended up spending the evening in her room.

For once, Sigyn was up before Loki. Though, truthfully, she couldn't really sleep as she was concerned for the woman. So when she saw the sky begin to lighten, she decided to just get up. The woman was awake as well, staring up at the ceiling, her hand on her belly.

"Good morning," Sigyn said softly. The woman jumped. She must have been very deep in thought.

"Good morning," she replied with a slight smile. "I'm terribly sorry for the trouble I've caused you."

Sigyn dismissed it with a shake of her head. "Think nothing of it."

"You must have so many questions," the woman continued.

"Indeed," Sigyn said. "The foremost being what your name is."

"Angrboda."

"Well, then, Angrboda, my name is Sigyn and my husband is Loki. Are you hungry?"

Angrboda smile shyly. "A bit."

"Then I will fetch us some food and you can tell us your tale as we eat."

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

Loki and Sigyn settled themselves on Angrboda's bed, nibbling on the bread and berries Sigyn had brought up.

"As I'm sure you've already determined," Angrboda began. "I'm a Frost Giant."

Loki nodded. "I'm sure you've determined likewise. What brings you this realm in such a condition."

Angrboda sighed. "I was fleeing my family"

Loki might have laughed had Angrboda not looked so sad. His house had evidently become a way station for those fleeing from family.

"Why?" Sigyn asked.

Angrboda was silent for a bit. "Perhaps I should begin at the beginning. Several years ago, I was roaming through the forest by my home when I came upon a wounded man, an Aesir. He was a spy sent by Odin to monitor Frost Giant activity. He had been discovered. He had escaped but had been badly injured.

"By all rights, I should have called for my father and brothers so they could finish him off. But there was something in his eyes that made me hesitate. Against my better judgment I took him to an abandoned cabin and nursed him back to health."

A sad smile appeared on her lips. "And I fell in love. I knew it was wrong. He was an enemy spy sent to watch my people, but I couldn't help it. I was so relieved when he was well enough to return to Asgard and I hoped that I would eventually get over my feelings. But, then he returned. Not as a spy. He told me that he came to see me. He had left the Asgardian army to come and find me again."

"I was so happy. We met in secret, of course, but we were eventually found out." Angrboda paused and tears appeared in her eyes. "My father and brothers killed him before my eyes, then locked me away in my room. But I soon realized that I was with child. I tried to hide it as long as possible. When my family found out, they ordered me to terminate the pregnancy. I knew it would be for the best, but I couldn't. This child is all I have left of him. I fled. I knew there would be nowhere in Jotunheim I could hide, so I came here and fate has led me to you."

Sigyn gave Angrboda's palm a comforting squeeze. "You poor dear. Of course we'll help you as best we can?"

"Then will you take this child and raise it as your own?"

Loki stared at Angrboda. This all too unreal and far too convenient. There had to be some sort of catch. Or perhaps fate truly led her to them.

"We do desire a child," Loki replied. "But are unable to have one." He'd just leave it at that. "But what of you? Will you truly be able to give up you child like that?"

"I do not want to, but I fear that I am not safe from my family even here," she placed her hand on her belly. "I will need to keep running. That is no life for a child."

"We will make sure your child will be well cared for," Sigyn said. "But...we will need a nursemaid."

Loki smiled at Sigyn. "Of course. We are both very busy. We have many responsibilities and I fear we may not be able to give the child proper attention."

"The child will be half Frost Giant so we should find somebody familiar with them."

"Somebody who wouldn't mind living in the middle of Asgard amongst all those brave warriors and elite guards." He turned to Angrboda. "Would that be a suitable arrangement for you?"

By the point, there were tears flowing down Angrboda's cheeks as she clutched Sigyn's hand. "Thank you," she sobbed out. "Thank you."

**o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o**

It turned out Angrboda was pregnant with twins – two boys. She named them Nari and Vali. Loki and Sigyn waited until the boys were a couple of months old before heading back to the city, babies and nursemaid in tow. Lord Odin immediately ordered a feast to celebrate the birth of the two princes.

Since there were two babies, Sigyn hand an excuse to bring Angrboda to the feast. They spent most of the night surrounded by other women of the court as they cooed over the twins. Loki spent most of his night being congratulated by the men.

Her father was rather apologetic. So much so that he announced that he had formally declared her his heir and she would be able to choose which of their sons would be hers.

"What a curious little family we have," she mused later as she and Loki watched Angrboda put the boys to bed.

"I'm a Frost Giant runt raised by the Lord of Asgard," Loki said. "Both Thor and I were raised by a woman not our mother. I don't have much experience with normal families. I wouldn't know what to do with one."

Sigyn laughed lightly and leaned against Loki. "That's all good and well. I find this family to be much more interesting,"


End file.
